I haven’t been playing much poker lately. I’m up about 12 bucks for the month playing in just a few WWdN’s, a Mookie and a CC’s Thursday Night Bash. I haven’t sat at a live poker table since the middle of October.

The reason is simple, and many of you already know it. I have a rather welcome distraction in my life and it’s taking up my weekends. But don’t worry… I’m not giving up on poker and I’m not done sucking out on all of you.

The key is getting Lady Luck into poker. A couple that plays together, stays together, right? Here’s where you come in.

Who’s got some advice?

I figure breaking out the deck of cards during foreplay is a bad idea.

The good news is that she’s not a complete novice. She’s played cards, she enjoys games… has even played a little poker here or there in her past.

It’s the whole Texas Hold ‘Em thing she’s worried about. She says she tried it once and couldn’t quite grasp it. I explained it was probably the easiest of the poker games to learn.

The bad news is that she’d be learning from me. Frankly, I’m not sure there’s a real sound way of teaching my way of playing poker. In one of my favorite all-time posts (The Legend of the Luckbox), I laid out just a few rules of sucking out. But, really, is that a skill that can be taught?

Can Michael Jordan teach you to fly?

You see where my dilemma lies, right? I suppose it makes sense to just start with a little ABC poker. But you only learn by doing. Maybe I’ll buy her into the Bad Blood New Years Invitational. Frankly, watching her lay a bad beat on slot gacor would make my 2007.

Limping under the gun

My right ankle is killing me. It looks like I’m smuggling an orange in my sock which, along with the banana in my pants, is halfway to cure for scurvy. The worst part of the injury, of course, is the way it happened.

As I pulled myself up from the mud in Uncle Ted’s front yard, I looked up at Otis who kept muttering to himself, “My God, I’m happy right now!”

Sigh.

Variance

In my last 2 poker games, I’ve lost 2 large all-in pots to one outers. It’s been that kind of week. The sick thing about poker variance is it’s statistical dispersion. If I stand to win a pot 80% of the time, I’d prefer 4 wins and a loss… followed by another 4 wins.

Of course, because poker is a dirty whore without the basic decency to bathe between screws, it’s more likely that you’re win 3, lose 3, then win 11, then lose 5.

I hate losing 5 times.

I honestly think the real mark of great poker player is the ability to survive the bad weeks… or months.

Lately, I’ve been so frustrated as to take apart my game, from square one, and try and piece it back together.

It hasn’t been easy.

Still, I think even the worst player can win… even win over a relatively extended period of time. The question is, can you minimize your losses when the cards turn mean?

MY PLANS IN 2007

Wanna play with G-Rob? Here’s your chance.

I’m booked at the Grand Casino in Tunica in January. The 18th through the 21st.

I’m meeting some good blogger friends. Really good blogger friends.

Wanna come?

Drop me a line.

ASIDE!

Is it just me, or did the Bengals just say “To Hell with this!” and quit tonight? Bastards!

ANYWAY

About the ankle:

After 6 or 7 solid years of hilarious “Otis Falls” jokes, I fell.

While drinking.

It was, as I’m sure Otis will tell you, pathetic.

I picked myself up quickly.

Now, just like I need to rethink my poker game, I need a new Otis jibe.

Can you think of anything?

ONE MORE THING

I accidentally watched THIS just now, thinking it was titled “Chilli and G-Rob.”

Sigh.